End of an Era

"While the lasts of the sand trickle down in the hour glass,
Outside, the leaves spiral into an up-draft 
- the grandchildren are now fathers, husbands, mothers and wives,
I woke up from my childhood..."

20th March '16

Pangs of bereavement

"Sambhalne de mujhe ae na-ummeedi..
ye kya qayamat hai,
ki daman-e-khayal-e-yaar bhi mujhse chhoota jaa raha hai"

- Ghalib

Kasak

Dil ki bhari jebon me,
kuch purani yaadon ke sikke tatol raha hun...

Geeton ke kuch dhundle bol
saason me fir aake tehrein hain...

Kuch kisse main aaj bhi dohrata hun,
par kuch siskiyon ko maine khamosh kar diya hai...

Syah keson me chandi ki anginat katarein hain,
par tumhari ankhon ki shararat ne mera bachpan aj bhi zinda rakha hai...

Sochta hun, 
agar apni kamzoriyon ki dhund ke pare dekh paya,
to kya uss kamre me aaj bhi tumhe apni chhati pe bilakta paunga ?

Tumse nazrein mila to lun,
par kya usme vo chehak lauta paunga ?

Shayad tum mujhe maaf kar pau,
aur apni yaadon ke sindook khol,
mere khayal ki dhool se chheenk kar fir muskuraao...

Zakhm kuredunga to dard hoga,
isliye, 'jo beeta, vo kyun beeta'- iss kasak ke sath, 
main ab alvida leta hun...

7th Feb '16

A white so dark...

Vandalized walls, which were once a beautiful graffiti,
I paint over and over with every possible hue to reclaim it...

These layers often chip off at impact,
and the past echoes from its blemishes...

One night, determined I poured black  all over,
cold-opaque, Perfect I thought !

Nothing peeps through,
but nothing penetrates it either - I forgot...

The brightest colors have a dull ache over this black !

Promise me a white so dark , won't you ?
So I can start anew...

Yaadon Ka Sheher

Sachhe-jhoote kisson ka pitara khole,
Kuch khushiyan apne hisse ki bator ate hain,
Aao yaadon ke sheher ghoom ate hain,

Ankhon se jhankti sharartein,
Aur samajhdaaron ki mehfil me 
bachhon si beparvaah gustakhiyan kar ate hain,
Aao yaadon ke sheher ghoom ate hain,

Hasi me jo siskiyan dhund len,
Unn yaaron ke sath gehri baaton me gote kha ate hain,
Aao yaadon ke sheher ghoom ate hain,

Muskura ke, kabhi gusse se zahir ki, pyari si shikayetein,
Aur allhad zidd se doston pe hakk hum bhi jata ate hain,
Aao yaadon ke sheher ghoom ate hain,

Patton pe padi os ki boondon ko bahot din sanjoya hai,
Aj nange pairon se geeli meeti chhapka ate hain,
Aao yaadon ke sheher ghoom ate hain...

August 17th, 2015

Toska

'Toska' (Russian) is the word I was looking for...and as Vladmir Nabokov describes it; “No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning."

Black

Reckless crooked love,
Empty laughs,
Soul-less talks,
Lying bare,
Frantically kissing,
as if digging to find some meaning to everything...
Clenching so tight, 
to silence the echoes of loneliness...

Craven soul, disguised as a drunk hopeless romantic...

We had learnt to fool ourselves,
Never learnt how to love...